April 11th, 2020
“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.” - Anonymous
It's become increasingly common to hear that someone you know is either divorced or in the process of getting divorced. According to the American Psychological Association:
“Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.”
It's crucial to acknowledge and understand these striking statistics and what they reflect. To grasp why nearly half of all marriages in today's society fail, let’s explore the common issues that often lead to divorce.
Common Reasons Why Couples Divorce
Whether you are married or not, it is important to understand the principles of what being married really means. So, what is marriage? In legal terms, marriage is the public and formal union of two people to one another.
In cultural terms, marriage is the unconditional love and support derived from a commitment between two people who promise to be by one another’s side for the rest of their lives. It takes more than love; it takes hard work to make a marriage work and stand the test of time.
It is important to find both balance and realistic standards within a relationship in order to have a healthy and successful marriage that lasts.
We all strive to have the “perfect” relationship—one characterized by love, balance, and equality within a lasting partnership. But what truly makes a marriage successful? Let's explore the key elements that contribute to a thriving, successful marriage:
What is a boundary? Boundaries are simply limits or rules that are set in place to create harmony in a given scenario. Boundaries can be developed and set by an authoritative figure, such as a mother to her child. They can also be set in place and agreed upon by two parties who design a system of rules and limitations that is fair to everyone involved.
When two individuals form a union in which they desire the lifelong relationship to flourish, it is important to set some boundaries. As mentioned above, these boundaries must be fair, understood, agreed upon, and respected by both partners.
Sometimes marriage counseling or couples therapy can help you and your partner establish healthy boundaries. It can be a difficult conversation to have, so having a professional (marriage counselor/ couples therapist) there to ensure everything runs smoothly is a great option.
There are both benefits and potential setbacks of creating boundaries within a marriage. Just as with most rule-setting situations, boundaries can create healthy limitations but also anxieties within a relationship.
Finding a balance between setting realistic and effective limits can help to alleviate any stress from new boundaries. Let’s explore some of the pros and cons of setting boundaries in your relationship.
Pros
Cons
Marriages can benefit from various types of boundaries, tailored to what's most essential for the mental and physical well-being of both individuals and the couple as a whole.
To address common relationship challenges, here are several examples of boundaries you can establish to strengthen and stabilize your marriage:
Trust
Communication
Commitment
In order to prevent your relationship from spiraling downwards in the direction of divorce or a breakup, it is critical that there are boundaries set in place.
As mentioned above, these boundaries should be designed to embrace both mutual understanding and respect, in an effort to create sustainable balance and harmony in the long run. To effectively establish healthy boundaries in your marriage, consider implementing the following tips:
If you and your significant other want a healthy way to grow your relationship and learn effective skill sets to boost trust and communication, Clarity Clinic can help. We offer the best marriage counseling and couples therapy in Chicago with multiple clinic locations for added convenience.
We have mental health clinics located in the Loop, River North, Lakeview Belmont, Lakeview Broadway, Evanston, and Arlington Heights. If you can’t make it to any of our locations, no worries! We offer leading online therapy (online couples therapy) so you can get the help you need no matter your schedule or location.
Apart from offering couples counseling, we offer a variety of different therapy options such as family therapy, child therapy, group therapy and more. For the best couples therapy near you, book an appointment at Clarity Clinic today!
Marriage & Couples TherapyRelated readings:
What percentage of marriages end in divorce?
About 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce.
What are normal boundaries in a marriage?
Normal boundaries in a marriage can include respect for each other's privacy, agreeing on how to manage finances, dividing household responsibilities, and establishing expectations about time spent together and apart. It’s also common to set boundaries around communication styles and how to handle conflicts.
How do I set boundaries with my husband?
To set boundaries with your husband, communicate your needs clearly and respectfully. Discuss why these boundaries are important to you, listen to his perspective, and work together to establish agreements that respect both partners’ needs. Speaking with a marriage and family therapist / couples therapist can help you amicably set those boundaries.
What are unacceptable boundaries in a relationship?
Unacceptable boundaries are those that are controlling, manipulative, or violate a person’s basic rights and dignity. This can include limiting a partner's access to friends and family, dictating their choice of clothing or appearance, enforcing rules that are one-sided, or not allowing privacy in communications or personal space. Such boundaries can be harmful and are often signs of an unhealthy relationship.
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