How Couples Therapy Can Help Even Healthy Relationships

August 21st, 2024

When you're in a long-term relationship, it's natural for communication to falter and for you and your partner to feel stuck at times. With the demands of work, kids, household chores, and daily responsibilities, maintaining a deep connection can become challenging. Over time, this disconnect can lead to frustration, resentment, and a sense of drifting apart.

According to renowned relationship expert John Gottman, Ph.D., couples often wait an average of six years before seeking help for their relationship issues. By then, the problems may feel so overwhelming, that it may seem like the only answer is to end the relationship.

That’s why couples therapy or marriage counseling is a vital tool that every couple should at least try once. Couples therapy can offer valuable insight to help you reconnect and rebuild a stronger, healthier relationship before it’s too late. Alternatively, couples therapy is great for every stage of a relationship even when there are no issues.

It can help strengthen your relationship before issues arise and can serve as a tool for growth, not just for fixing current problems. Keep reading to discover how couples therapy / couples counseling can help your relationship!

How Couples Counseling Can Help Your Relationship

What is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, also known as marriage counseling or couples counseling, is a type of psychotherapy that helps couples improve their relationship by addressing communication issues, conflicts, and emotional disconnect.

Guided by a trained couples therapy therapist, couples therapy provides a safe and structured environment where partners can openly discuss their concerns, understand each other’s perspectives, and learn effective ways to resolve conflicts.

Whether you're facing specific challenges or simply want to strengthen your bond, couples therapy can help enhance communication, rebuild trust, and foster a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.

How Does Couples Therapy Usually Work?

Couples therapy typically involves both partners meeting with a licensed therapist to explore their relationship dynamics, identify issues, and work towards solutions. Here’s how it usually works:

Initial Assessment: The therapist starts by understanding the couple's history, challenges, personality, and goals for therapy. This might involve individual sessions as well as joint sessions to gather insights from both partners. Here you and your significant other can also decide if you feel your therapist is the right fit for you both or if you should continue to look for another therapist. Additionally, if your therapist feels they are not a good fit, they will let you know. Head to our blog “How to Find the Right Therapist for You” for some help on finding a therapist.
Identifying Issues: Together with the therapist, the couple identifies key problems, such as communication breakdowns, unresolved conflicts, or emotional distance. The therapist helps both partners express their feelings and concerns in a constructive way.
Developing Strategies: The therapist guides the couple through techniques to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and build emotional connection. This could involve exercises, role-playing, and homework assignments to practice new behaviors between sessions.
Ongoing Support: Couples therapy usually takes place over several weeks or months, with regular sessions to monitor progress, adjust strategies, and provide ongoing support. The goal is to equip the couple with tools to manage future challenges on their own.

Through this structured process, couples therapy aims to strengthen the relationship by improving understanding, rebuilding trust, and fostering healthier interactions.

4 Signs You Should Go To Couples Counseling

Couples Therapy Isn’t Just for Major Problems

Couples therapy is often seen as a last resort when serious issues arise, but it can be beneficial at any stage of a relationship. You don't need to be in crisis to seek help from a therapist. In fact, many couples use therapy as a proactive way to strengthen their bond, improve communication, and prevent small issues from turning into bigger ones.

By addressing minor challenges early on, couples therapy can help you maintain a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It’s about fostering connection, understanding each other’s needs, and growing together—not just fixing major problems. Whether you're newly together or have been partners for years, therapy can provide valuable tools to help your relationship thrive.

No relationship is perfect, and each partner brings their unique ideas, values, opinions, personal history, and attachment styles into the relationship. The very differences that once seemed so charming in the beginning might now feel like sources of frustration.

Many couples can benefit from premarital counseling and marriage counseling as a way to improve communication and manage conflict early on—before any serious issues arise. Investing in your relationship through counseling helps you navigate challenges and strengthen your bond from the start.

How Couples Therapy Can Help Your Relationship

In any relationship, both partners want to be heard, loved, and accepted, and therefore healthy communication is the foundation of all relationships.

A couples therapist can help you and your partner address underlying issues and help you practice new ways of expressing your needs, connecting with each other on a daily basis, and managing conflict.

A couples therapist allows couples to discuss their issues in a safe environment without going to old negative patterns of interacting. They will explore those negative patterns and help you to find new, healthier ways to communicate and connect with each other.

Couples therapy is about learning how to voice your disagreement in a respectful and loving way.

John Gottman, Ph.D., in his book The Relationship Cure, wrote: “It’s not that these couples don’t get mad or disagree. It’s that when they disagree, they are able to stay connected and engaged with each other. Rather than becoming defensive and hurtful, they pepper their disputes with flashes of affection. Intense interest and mutual respect”.

Enhances Communication: Couples therapy helps partners learn effective communication skills, reducing misunderstandings and improving overall interaction.
Resolves Conflicts: Therapists assist in identifying and resolving ongoing conflicts, teaching strategies to handle disagreements constructively.
Strengthens Connection: Therapy can rejuvenate emotional connections, helping couples feel closer and more attuned to each other's needs.
Improves Intimacy: By addressing emotional and physical intimacy issues, couples therapy can enhance the sexual and emotional bond between partners.
Facilitates Personal Growth: Therapy encourages individual self-awareness and personal growth, which benefits the relationship.
Prevents Future Issues: Couples learn to recognize and address issues early, preventing them from escalating and causing more damage in the future.
Supports Healing: Therapy can help heal from past hurts or betrayals, allowing couples to move forward with a stronger foundation.

Signs You Should Go To Couples Therapy

Here are several signs that indicate it might be time to consider couples therapy:

Communication Breakdown: If your conversations often end in arguments, misunderstandings, or if you’ve stopped talking altogether, therapy can help you rebuild healthy communication.
Growing Distance: When you feel emotionally disconnected or like roommates rather than partners, couples therapy can help you rekindle your bond.
Recurring Conflicts: If you’re stuck in a cycle of repeating the same arguments without resolution, therapy can provide tools to break the pattern.
Trust Issues: Whether due to infidelity, dishonesty, or unresolved conflicts, therapy can help rebuild trust and address underlying issues.
Life Transitions: Major changes, such as having a baby, moving, or career shifts, can create stress in a relationship. Therapy can help you navigate these transitions together.
Intimacy Problems: If physical or emotional intimacy has diminished, therapy can help you reconnect on a deeper level. Consider sex therapy as an option.
Different Life Goals: When partners have differing visions for the future, therapy can facilitate productive discussions to align your goals and expectations.
Feelings of Resentment: If small issues have built up over time and created feelings of resentment, therapy can help you address and resolve these emotions before they damage the relationship.

Couples therapy isn't just for relationships in crisis; it's a proactive step toward maintaining a healthy and fulfilling partnership. While the main goal of couples therapy might focus on resolving the issues that brought you to counseling, couples therapy goes much deeper than that.

According to John Gottman, Ph.D., in order for a relationship to last, partners must improve their friendship, learn to manage conflict, and look for ways to support each other’s hopes and dreams.

Couples Therapy in Chicago & Marriage Counseling Near You

Ready to strengthen your relationship? At Clarity Clinic, we offer expert couples therapy near you, both in-person in Chicago and through online couples therapy that fits your schedule. Whether you're looking specifically for couples counseling near you, therapy near you, or online therapy that takes insurance, our licensed therapists are here to help.

Don’t wait to start building a better connection. Book an appointment with a therapist near you today.

Our mental health clinics are located in downtown Chicago the Loop, River North, Lakeview Belmont, Lakeview Broadway, Evanston, and Arlington Heights.

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Couples Therapy Commonly Asked Questions

What kind of therapy is best for couples?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) are highly effective options for couples, focused on improving communication and resolving conflicts.

How to know if my insurance covers couples therapy?

Check your insurance policy details or call your insurance provider to find out if couples therapy is covered. Some plans may require a referral or pre-approval.

Is Therapy Worth It for Couples?

Yes, therapy can be highly beneficial for couples looking to improve their relationship, resolve conflicts, and understand each other better, often leading to more satisfying and lasting relationships.