October 24th, 2024
Tears are often viewed as a natural response to strong emotions, whether it’s sadness, joy, frustration, or relief. But what happens when the tears just don’t come, even when you feel like you should be crying? For many people, the inability to cry can be a source of confusion and frustration. If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why can’t I cry?” you’re not alone.
It’s no secret that a solid crying session can bring major relief, allowing us to physically pour out our emotions. Sure, while devouring a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream or watching a comfort movie can bring some sort of relief, there’s nothing quite like crying to feel better.
Let’s explore some of the reasons behind this emotional block and what you can do about it. Keep reading to learn all the possible medical and psychological reasons why you can’t cry!
Crying is a human response that serves both physical and emotional purposes. From a biological standpoint, tears help lubricate and protect the eyes, but they also act as a release valve for overwhelming emotions.
When we cry, our body releases stress hormones, which can help regulate mood and provide a sense of relief. This emotional release is why crying is often described as "therapeutic."
However, the emotional benefits of crying go beyond just feeling better—it's also a way of communicating distress, connecting with others, and processing deep feelings. When this natural response is blocked, it can leave us feeling emotionally stifled or detached, leading you to wonder “what is wrong with me?”.
Here is a list of possible medical reasons why you can’t cry:
Certain medications, particularly antidepressants, can impact your emotional range, including the ability to cry. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and other mood stabilizers can cause emotional blunting as a side effect. If you’ve recently started a new medication and noticed changes in your emotional expression, it’s worth discussing this with your doctor.
A common condition where the eyes do not produce enough tears, or the tears evaporate too quickly, making it difficult to produce any kind of tears, including emotional ones.
An autoimmune disorder that primarily affects moisture-producing glands, including those that produce tears, leading to dry eyes and reduced tear production.
Hormonal imbalances, such as those caused by menopause, pregnancy, or thyroid issues, can affect tear production. Low estrogen levels, in particular, can reduce the body's ability to produce tears.
Here is a list of possible mental and psychological reasons why you can’t cry:
Mental health conditions like depression and anxiety can also affect your ability to cry. In some cases, depression can lead to emotional blunting, where you feel detached from your emotions altogether. Anxiety, on the other hand, can create a constant state of tension, making it difficult to let go enough to cry. Both conditions can leave you feeling stuck in a state where the emotions are present, but the tears never come.
Paradoxically, being under constant stress can make it hard to cry even though you're feeling emotional. Chronic stress puts your body in a heightened state of alertness, and the fight-or-flight response can suppress emotional reactions like crying. When you're in "survival mode," your body may prioritize other responses over tears.
One of the most common reasons people find it difficult to cry is emotional numbness. This can happen after prolonged periods of stress, trauma, or overwhelming life events. When your brain becomes overloaded, it may go into "survival mode," dulling emotions to protect you from further distress. This emotional shutdown can make it hard to connect with your feelings, including the ability to cry.
Many people grow up in environments where crying is discouraged, either implicitly or explicitly. Cultural and societal norms often teach us that crying is a sign of weakness, especially for men. These internalized beliefs can make it difficult to allow yourself to cry, even in private, because you’ve been conditioned to suppress your emotions.
Certain personality disorders, such as schizoid personality disorder or avoidant personality disorder, can lead to emotional detachment, making crying rare or difficult.
Individuals with PTSD often experience emotional numbing as a symptom, which can make it difficult to cry even when they’re experiencing intense emotions.
It’s important to note that crying isn’t necessarily a requirement for processing emotions. While it can without a doubt be a helpful way to release built-up feelings, not crying isn’t necessarily tied to being negative as long as you release/express your emotions in other ways.
Issues can arise when you’re actively avoiding or suppressing your emotions. According to experts, using suppression as your main way of coping with emotions is what can lead to poor mental health, including increased anxiety and depression.
Medically speaking, according to the American Academy of Ophthalmology (AAO), tears protect your eyes from dirt, debris, and help lubricate your eyes. There are three different types of tears:
Like we mentioned before, If you are not able to produce emotional tears, there is no real harm as long as you express your emotions in other healthy ways.
If you’re struggling to express emotions through crying, no worries! There are other ways you can cope and process emotions in healthy ways, such as:
If your inability to cry is affecting your mental health or relationships in life, it may be time to seek professional support. A therapist can help you uncover the root cause of your emotional block and offer strategies to help you reconnect with your emotions. Whether it's through talk therapy or other therapeutic methods, a therapist can help make a significant difference.
It’s important to note that tears are not the only way to cope or show you are in touch with your emotions. If you are able to process your emotions in other healthy ways and your main concern is that you don’t cry like everyone else, don’t worry about it too much. Everyone is different and processes emotions in different ways, you don’t need to cry to “feel” things or release emotions.
As long as your mental and physical health is fine, then you shouldn’t worry about “not being able to cry”. Rest easy knowing you are fine! Do your thing and live your life.
Are you ready to take the next step in your mental health journey? At Clarity Clinic, we offer compassionate, expert therapy services at convenient locations throughout Chicago and the surrounding suburbs, including Schaumburg, Naperville, Arlington Heights, Evanston, and Oak Brook. (Loop, River North, Belmont, Broadway, Arlington Heights, Evanston)
Whether you prefer to meet an in person therapist in Chicago or would like to take advantage of our online therapy that takes insurance, we are here to help support everyone across Illinois. No matter where you are, our dedicated therapists are ready to help you navigate life’s challenges and improve your well-being.
Schedule an appointment to find a therapist near you at one of our mental health clinics. Whether you want a downtown Chicago Loop therapist or a therapist in Arlington Heights, Clarity Clinic is here for you.
From talk therapy, group therapy, family therapy, couples therapy, and child therapy, get convenient and leading therapy near you with Clarity Clinic. Book an appointment today and start your path toward healing!
Find a Therapist!Related Readings:
Why can’t I cry if I want to?
You might be experiencing emotional numbness, stress, depression, or the effects of medications, among other reasons, which can make it hard to cry even if you feel the need to.
What to do when you can’t cry?
Visit a mental health professional like a therapist to help you get to the root of why you can not cry. Additionally, you can try journaling, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in physical activity to process your emotions in other healthy ways.
Can I ask my therapist to help me cry?
Yes, you can absolutely ask your therapist to help you cry. Therapists can guide you in exploring blocked emotions and provide a safe space for emotional expression. They can also help you understand any underlying issues that might be preventing you from crying and work with you on strategies to reconnect with your feelings.
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