December 4th, 2024
At first, the words “Generational Trauma” can sound like just another way to blame your parents for your problems. It’s a lot more than that, though. Generational trauma is when a family is still affected by traumatic events that may have happened generations ago. Wars, slavery, poverty, and life under authoritarian governments are among its causes. All too often, generational trauma can become generational abuse.
That can include emotional, physical, sexual abuse, or simple neglect. Generational trauma gets passed down through behaviors and habits, family traditions, parenting practices, and even genetically. If the chains of generational trauma remain for too long, family members may not question these behaviors and ideas, or even know where they came from, until eventually one or more family members become the generational change-makers. Keep reading to learn more on generational trauma and how you can break the cycle.
Generational trauma happens when, in a previous generation, a family experienced some kind of traumatic event that changed the way they behaved and thought, introduced mental health problems into the family as a result, and even somewhat altered DNA (more on that later in this article). Sometimes this becomes generational abuse when the trauma included physical violence that became a part of that family.
Maybe there was a situation two or more generations ago where ancestors of yours were on the run from harsh political oppression. The adults experienced violent abuse at the hands of an oppressive government, and out of that trauma, developed emotional dysregulation that caused them to pass on that abuse to their children, or maybe they hit or otherwise abused the children in order to keep order so that the children would know how to behave for their own safety in an unsafe society, such as black families being strict with children so that the children will act in safe ways when confronted with police officers.
The parents have no real intention of abusing. It’s a technique to create obedience that may one day protect their children in the face of an unsafe authority figure. Those children may grow up to pass on those practices to protect another generation. Such practices aren’t just black people in the US. It also happens in repressive regimes all over the world. Often, there are other effects like depression, anxiety, PTSD, and further unnecessary violence.
There are a number of causes of generational trauma and abuse besides political abuse. We’ve already talked about political oppression as a cause. War, of course, is a cause of generational trauma. Soldiers come back with secrets of war that haunt them. Family members can often sense that there’s something wrong and they don’t know what that is.
Sometimes, the cause is as simple as one family member abusing others, and the fallout from that alters the behavior, beliefs, and relationships of the rest of the family. The way that family relates to each other changes to accommodate and minimize the problem.
At times nature itself is the cause. If an earlier generation of the family lived in a harsh land where survival was never certain and people had to work hard to make sure they ate and had safe housing, that can create a family atmosphere of fear of loss or starvation. One storm or drought could change everything for the worse. Even if they succeed in creating a safer lifestyle for themselves in future generations, the behaviors, beliefs and relationships that were created in fear can still be passed on.
Even in a more affluent and safe generation, the fear, greed and uncertainty can emerge in the family in different ways. Generational trauma examples might include a financially safe family being greedy or excessively competitive because a previous generation had to work so hard for so very little, or had to prove their worth in a new land where they weren’t wanted
Generational trauma is more than just the echo of past hardships—it’s a cycle of behaviors, beliefs, and biological changes that ripple through families, often without conscious awareness. By understanding how trauma is transmitted, we can begin to recognize and address the unseen forces that impact our mental health and interpersonal dynamics. Here are a few of the most common ways generational trauma can be passed down:
The patterns of generational trauma may have once been necessary responses to adversity, but they can persist long after the original circumstances have faded, shaping how families approach relationships, control, and emotional expression. Let’s take a deeper look to really understand generational trauma and abuse.
Behaviors: A family is on the run, trying to escape from danger several generations ago. The parents desperately want to protect themselves and the children, and they’re almost to safety when one of the little ones starts to cry. The parents try to hush the child, but it isn’t working because the child can sense their fear.
Finally, one of the parents simply smacks the child, who quiets down to avoid being hit again. Once the family is safe, they allow that behavior to continue because it gets such good behavior from the children. Now, several generations later, that’s still normalized as the only way to effectively raise good children.
Beliefs: In survival situations, people develop whatever beliefs they need to survive. Someone survives a difficult situation by controlling it carefully. The belief that control is extremely important gets passed on. In a future, safer generation, that belief in control is passed on in different forms, like excessive control over grades, diets, or chores.
Relationships: In an emergency, it’s a good idea to have strong leadership, even if that leader is acting in an authoritarian way that they usually wouldn’t. But people tend to replicate what works, so people in a specific family, or even an entire culture, pass on an authoritarian, overly controlling parenting style. Eventually the memories of why this started are gone, but the authoritarian ways of the family may not have changed very much.
Genetics: Events in our lives can change the way that our DNA, our genetics, show up in our lives. When genes are altered by events in someone’s life or other factors in their environment, that’s called “epigenetics”. According to Krippner & Barrett (2019), in the article “Transgenerational Trauma: The Role of Epigenetics”, trauma can alter how and when your existing genes affect your daily life.
A simple example is your diet: if you know that heart disease runs in your family, you probably also understand that food can change the likelihood that the gene for heart disease will activate later in life.
How is it that genetics can affect your DNA, including genes for disease, pain, personality traits, and mental health symptoms. If you inherit a gene that makes it more likely you’ll have anxiety, for example, a traumatic event or events can activate those parts of your DNA.
Trauma can also “turn on” (like flipping a light switch) genes for more physical problems like heart disease or cancer. Next, we’ll look at some ways to interrupt those processes in the body and prevent further trauma reactions.
Breaking generational trauma, preventing it from being passed on to a new generation, is not easy but it can be done. Earlier we talked about the beliefs and traditions that come from generational trauma. A lot of it can be done with a therapist, but there are factors like poverty, food insecurity, and prejudice that have to be addressed at the level of an entire society in order to truly support people. Therapy does play a strong role, though.
A good trauma therapist should be able to help you work on understanding where trauma is affecting you.. One of the first things to do is start identifying the beliefs, traditions, parenting and relationship practices that are affected by generational trauma in your family.
Are there harsh parenting practices that no longer serve the family well? Does the family have beliefs that were true and helpful once, but no longer are, such as “You’re on your own in this world. Nobody wants to help you”?
Are there still beliefs that a strong leader is needed to keep the rest of the family safe, when that may not be true any more (and could be promoting abuse)? If your family is genuinely in danger from an outside force, some of these beliefs help keep people safe. If you’re not in serious danger right now, they may be keeping the family’s problems alive.
Breaking the cycle of generational trauma requires intentional effort, self-awareness, and a commitment to change. Here are actionable steps to begin the healing process:
Ideally, treatment for generational trauma should involve as many family members as possible so they can work together. That’s not always possible, though. Often it’s just one family member going to therapy to heal themselves.
Trauma therapy depends on the specific symptoms that a person is experiencing, and what caused those symptoms. Some people have post-traumatic stress disorder, some have strong anxiety, depression, or substance abuse problems.
Chronic pain is also common in people with any kind of trauma. Your therapist will ask a lot of questions to understand your symptoms, your family, and if it's relevant, how your cultural traditions or beliefs can present strengths or problems. Medication and other therapies like transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS Therapy) or EMDR may play a part as well.
So if your trauma shows up as depression, you and your therapist would work on depression at first, and maybe address other issues later as they come up. Any emergencies, like current family abuse, should be addressed at the very beginning.
You can’t heal when you’re in the environment that’s hurting you, so therapy may also involve taking a look at your relationships and where you may need to get some distance from certain people.
When a family was put in danger by events they couldn’t control in a previous generation, they developed ideas, traditions, and relationship practices that helped them survive, and it’s a good thing they did. When the family is safer, a lot of those survival practices become toxic; for example, in an emergency, it can help to have one strong person in charge.
When the family is out of danger, though, that level of authoritarian control can be damaging to other family members, or even become abusive. Healing generational trauma involves working on symptoms in individuals, but also on exploring the beliefs, traditions and relationships in a family to see what still serves them and what needs to be left in the past for them to heal and thrive.
This is why Clarity Clinic offers the best trauma therapy near you! Whether you are considering finding a therapist near you for yourself or considering family therapy, we can help. With multiple mental health clinics located throughout Chicago such as the Loop, River North, Evanston, Lakeview Broadway, Lakeview Belmont, and Arlington Heights, you can easily find the right mental health therapist near you.
We also offer comprehensive online therapy services throughout Illinois, to ensure we make mental health care as accessible as possible to those who need it. What are you waiting for? Get the best family therapy near you or the best individual trauma therapy and begin working towards a happier, healthier future.
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