Happiness, Parenting, Relationships

Why It’s Important to Make Mom Friends

“To be honest, I wish I had more mom friends.” – Britney Spears

Mom friends at the park with their children

Motherhood Is Not Easy

Being a mother is one of life’s greatest gifts. Being the most important person in your children’s lives can be the most rewarding and joyful things in a woman’s life. But, let’s face it…..being a mom is no easy task. Whether you are a working full-time mom, working part-time mom, or a full-time stay-at-home mom, we all experience similar emotions. Even though the routines may differ depending on the structure of your work, life, and family balance; the daily struggles and challenges of being a mother are the same. Regardless of your professional working or non-working status, women as a whole experience maternal feelings across the spectrum:

  • Guilt
  • Loneliness
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Pride
  • Joy
  • Elation
  • Sadness
  • Happiness

There are so many options and decisions to be made as a mother raising your children in today’s society. Where and how to pick and choose your battles with your kids themselves, or amongst their lives, are difficult to navigate. The decisions to be made can range from:

  • Food choices
  • School choices
  • Extra-curricular activities
  • Car seat choices
  • Stroller choices
  • Vaccine choices
  • Medical decisions

Whether the choice is considered to be big or small one, it is important to acknowledge our feelings and challenges as mothers and come together to help one another out. Therefore, the importance of creating and maintaining “mom friends” is key.

The Importance of Mom Friends

Although it may seem obvious to make friends with other moms, it is not always easy. However, once you do find a few mom friends within your community, life can seem a bit more manageable and understandable. It is both helpful and important to make friends with other moms for some of the following reasons…

  • Can make you feel more sane
  • Mutual understanding
  • Helps to bounce questions or ideas off of
  • Often experiencing similar challenges
  • Allows for you to have some adult interaction (especially if you are a stay-at-home mom)
  • Can make you feel less alone, both physically and emotionally

Why Making Other Mom Friends is Hard

As stated above, making other mom friends is not necessarily simple. A lot of times we make excuses for initiating friendships. Stepping out of your comfort zone to develop new relationships and friendships can be challenging due to:

  • Personality
    • You are shy
    • You do not like putting yourself out there
  • You already feel content with your social circle
    • Whether you have friends from work or friends who do not have children, a lot of women feel like they don’t need more or new friends 
  • You have to go to work
  • You’re tired
  • You have errands to run
  • It’s hard to physically get out of the house (especially for new moms and/or moms with more than one child)

Being a “New Mom” Can Make It Even Harder

Mother’s of school-aged children and older are at an advantage because of the built-in aspect of their children being in school and extracurricular activities. This can make socialization with other parent’s easier because of the natural time spent with other families. However, being a new mom can make it even more challenging to make new friends because…

  • Overwhelmed with caring for a newborn or infant
  • Postpartum depression
  • Hard to get out of the house
  • Uninformed of what to do or where to go with a baby
  • Feeling insecure about managing a newborn in public alone
  • Don’t feel the need to make new friends when you already have work friends or other friends (although they may not have kids)
Mom friends having coffee together with their children

If You Don’t Make Mom Friends…

Aside from the reasons why it is important to make and maintain friendships with other moms, there are indeed some risks at stake if you keep to yourself and do not socialize with other parents. Some of these risks to your mental and physical health could include:

  • Isolation
  • Loneliness
  • Depression
    • Postpartum depression
  • Anxiety
  • Short temper
  • Anger issues
  • Relationship issues with spouse
  • Poor eating habits
    • Weight gain
    • Weight loss
  • Loss of self-importance

5 Ways to Make Mom Friends

For all of the above reasons it is clear that finding and creating friendships with other moms is important to the mental health and sanity of all moms. Here are 5 ways to start making friends with other moms today!

Mom friends smiling with their children swinging on a bench
  1. Join a local Facebook group
    1. Social media is a wonderful way to connect to other local parents
    2. Many local facebook groups will set up group playdates
    3. A lot of members in the local Facebook groups will post and advertise about upcoming events going on in the community that are age-specific and relevant to seasonal activities
  2. Attend story time at your local library
    1. If your child is not yet in school, reaching out to your local library to acquire a list of events and activities, such as story times, is a great way to meet other moms who might be in the same boat
  3. Mutual friends
    1. Sometimes a friend may have another friend who has children, what’s even better is if they have children around the same age
    2. There’s a comfort in knowing you have a common friend, as it is an instant connection and ice breaker
    3. If a mutual friend sets you up with another friend, you can usually trust that the other mom will be great!
  4. Mommy & Me classe
A mommy and me class
  1. Signing up and attending classes where the same moms and kids will be in the same class every week is a good way to familiarize and identify yourself with a group, as opposed to showing up to public places alone (i.e. zoo, park, aquarium)
  2. Be the initiator
    1. One of the hardest parts about trying to make new friends is putting yourself out there
    2. Swallowing your pride and initiating a conversation can be the first way to find common ground

Get Out There!

Remember all moms experience the same issues, feelings, and emotions…if you are willing to put yourself out there, you may just find your next best friend for life!

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